hippocrates, 400+ years before "jesus" casts out the "demons", understands that epilepsy is an illness

thanks to Rob Hogue for this quote:

"Men think epilepsy divine, merely because they do not understand it. We will one day understand what causes it, and then cease to call it divine. And so it is with everything in the universe." - Hippocrates 400 BC

now look at the next quote, ca. 400 later on in history:

In the Gospel According to Mark (9:14-29), Jesus Christ casts out a devil from a young man with epilepsy: "Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth, and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive the spirit out, but they could not." (NIV) 70 AD

=)

ragnar redbeard's real(istic) beatitudes

here are my "picks" from redbeard's beatitudes from might is right:

Blessed are the strong, for they shall possess the Earth.
Blessed are the powerful for they shall be reverenced among men.
Blessed are the bold for they shall be masters of the world.
Blessed are the iron-handed, the unfit shall flee before them.
Blessed are the destroyers of false hope, they are the true Messiahs.
Blessed are they who believe in nothing, never shall it terrorize their minds.

Cursed are the believers in good and evil for they are frightened by shadows.
Cursed are the God-adorers, they shall be shorn sheep.
Cursed are the haters of battle, subjugation is their portion.
Cursed are the humble, for they shall be trodden under hoofs.
Cursed are the weak, for they shall inherit the yoke.
Cursed are the feeble for they shall be blotted out.
Cursed are the poor in spirit, they shall be spat upon.

if you're looking for truth, redbeard's beatitudes are at least true. jesus' are wishful thinking, claimed to be true, when they dont represent reality, thus they are lies (or empty metaphorical promises, not intended to be fulfilled here in this life--how convenient), in my eyes =) there's a theory that jesus was invented by josephus flavius to keep the jews under rome's control. jesus' teachings would do just that, e.g. "turn the other cheek", "blessed are the humble", "if a man asks for your shirt give him your coat", etc.
historicity of jesus

caesar's messiah (this book is really interesting. i have it if you want to borrow it.)

jesus also fits the profile of a mythological hero. on Lord Raglan's scale of 1-22 of common traits for a mythological hero, jesus ranks around 19. it is said that no real, historical figure has ever scored above a 7 (alexander the great == not a mythological hero).
see also this lord raglan's hero page and jesus' hero explanation

see also:
jesus myth theory
jesus christ and comparative mythology

i originally posted all of this on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/notes/nick-humphrey/the-realistic-beatitudes/10150277538262292

joseph smith boasting he is greater than jesus

history of the church, page 2432

I have more to boast of than ever any man had. I am the only man that has ever been able to keep a whole church together since the days of Adam. A large majority of the whole have stood by me. Neither Paul, John, Peter, nor Jesus ever did it. I boast that no man ever did such a work as I. The followers of Jesus ran away from Him; but the Latter-day Saints never ran away from me yet.

jesus tells pharisees they are sinning by not stoning disrespectful children

new testament scripture where jesus condones stoning disrespectful children

1 Then came to Jesus scribes and Pharisees, which were of Jerusalem, saying,

2 Why do thy disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? for they wash not their hands when they eat bread.

3 But he answered and said unto them, Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition?

4 For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.

5 But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me;

6 And honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition.

---
this message has been brought to you by the "loving" "savior" jesus =)

christopher hitchens == jesus of atheism

christopher hitchens, with all his wisdom and ability to crush any theistic argument in a debate is like the modern day atheist jesus

"I do not believe in anything that must be 'believed' in"

someone on the exmormon.org site asked "do you still believe in jesus?" and i like SaviorSelf's answer:

The use of the word "believe" indicates that there is no verifiable proof as to the existence of something.

I don't have to believe in my truck, my house, my computer, my television set, etc. I KNOW for a fact that they exist. But since neither Jesus or God has ever visited me in person (the type of visit that I can record on a video) then I have no verifiable proof that they exist.

was muhammed supposed to be the successor of jesus?

an interesting little dissertation by Francis Stephen:

Koran accepts virgin birth and second coming of Jesus but not death. The argument was that God would not allow anyone to kill Jesus who was God’s prophet. Prophet Muhammed was poisoned and it caused his death. How did God allow this “slow killing”. God, should also by same logic saved Prophet Muhammed too if he was the last and greatest of all prophets as claimed.Why accept only half of the Old Testament on birth and second coming but not death of Jesus by crucufixion.The reason is there would be no place for Prophet Muhammed or Islam if Koran accepts it. It would end with Jesus who was indeed the greatest of all prophets and Messiah. Prophet Muhammed had a reason to deny Jesus’s death so that he could live to preach Islam otherwise he would not have any followers.Jesus and his apostles were a complete contradiction to Prophet Muhammed. Jesus preached forgiveness, love and peace by saying “if someone slapped your right cheek, offer your left” but prophet Muhammed lived by the sword and he fought wars where there was much killing. Would ever Jesus who always spoke of love,peace and forgiveness picked a successor such as Prophet Muhammed??? who preached and acted just the opposite. Jesus asked his apostles to be honest, upright, faithful and chaste with their spouses and no apostles had any polygamy inclination whatsoever. But Prophet Muhammed was a complete contradiction having not less than 12 wives, one who was only 6 years old. The prophets before Jesus may had numerous wives but Jesus came and literally put a stop to polygamy. This is the New Testament. Jesus came and showed how to lead a family life for those apostles and followers who were married.Arabic traditions and customs are mere excuses for Prophet Muhammaed to be polygamous. Jesus even went against Jewish cusoms and traditions during his lifetime had put a fullstop to this already. If Prophet Muhammed was truly the chosen prophet by Jesus surely he has to honour , abide and agree to Jesus teachngs and way of life and in fact enhancing it rather than creating new contradictions and unacceptable teachings. A religion must be universal and not confined to people,customs and traditions of a particular time, race or people. In fact all other religions or their founders believed and practised monogamy be it Hindusism, Buddhism,Sikkhism,Taoism etc and the only major religion which allows polygamy is Islam. Buddha ,who was a prince, in fact gave up his kingdom,wife and children and chose to be celibate and disowned the material world to achieve nirvana. Prophet Muhammed on the other hand just kept on adding wives.Can such a person who claims to be the last and greatest of all prophets be truly be a messenger of GOD? Can we rely on his teachings,sayings and way of life? Would you ever in the first place marry a girl who is six years old, and for that matter when you are fifty as Prophet Muhammed was? Can you then use the Koran which came from such a character as Prophet Muhammed to judge the Bible?

Q. how did the angels minister unto jesus?

in the new testament, after jesus' temptation, it says:

Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.

Q. what did the angels do? give him food? encourage him with words? give him a massage?

words for casting out devils and evil spirits

i read this interesting description in agrippa's occult philosophy chapter 32:

And Athanasius in his book De Variis Questionibus saith that there is no word more terrible and more destructive to the power of Devils then the beginning of the 68. Psalm, Arise O God, and let thine enemies be scattered; For assoon as that word is spoken, the devill vanisheth away howling. And Origen against Celsus saith, that the naming the name Jesus hath oftentimes cast many devils as well out of the souls of men as their bodies, and hath exercised much power in them out of whom the devils were cast.