blessings, trials/punishments, or coincidence: god, god and no such thing?

the lds church doesnt like to leave anything to chance. you'll never hear a general authority stand at the pulpit in general conference and say: "hey, shit happens."
when something good happens: it was inspired or it is a blessing for something good you've done.
when something bad happens: it is either a test by God or a punishment.

was it inspiration when apostles called missionaries to places where they were killed, dismembered, maimed or tortured while on their missions?

was it inspired that a female student was accepted to god's university, byu, so she could get raped by a byu football player?

i sat in on a lesson 2 weeks ago at my local lds church congregation. it was about trials. one of the key teachings on this subject was something to the effect of:
we will not be given trials greater than we can bear

some questions came to my mind:
* do trials come from god? (several people during the lesson were saying "god gives us trails because/to...")
* does this apply to lds church members only?
* is psychological trauma/damage just an illusion?
* does god allow rape of children because he knows that they can bear it?
* how does the mother who is brutally murdered by her abusive husband bear her trial? (rhetorical question)
* do you as a parent give your children the same kind of trials others claim god gives his children, in order to test their obedience or to build their character? (hopefully everybody agrees that is a rhetorical question)

Learning through life's trials (march 2010!)

Apostle Orson F. Whitney (1855–1931) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, explained: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God … and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.”

rhetoric like this makes me cringe. let's put these words into some real-life context shall we?
case: a small girl is raped by her father. we'll call her Mary. let's say Mary is 9 or 10 years old, or maybe she's 4 or 14, does it really matter?

let's use those same words and apply them to this situation:

"No pain that Mary suffered during her rape, no trial that she experienced, even rape, is wasted. It ministers to her education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that Mary suffers and all that she must now endure, especially when she endures it patiently, builds up her character, purifies her heart, expands her soul, and makes her more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God … and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that she gains the education that she came here to acquire."